infinitely sustainable pace

I think it was last week that I was rambling on about needing to try to make my life work, just as it is. As the saying goes, if it’s important to you you’ll find a way. If not you’ll find an excuse. With spring really happening, all I want to do is ride my bike and it was time that I stopped finding excuses and started to find a way.

This past week I’ve stepped up my game. Getting more organized at home, getting more done in the mornings and finding whatever ways I can to avoid getting bogged down by life obstacles. By getting to work earlier in the morning and working later after K goes to bed and running about 12 different to-do lists, I’ve found a way to sneak in an hour of mountain biking at lunch on most days. It’s not much, but it sure is worth it.

Town loops last week. Kimmers yesterday. Pipeline on tap for today before the rain arrives. Riding provides the opportunity for reflection and perspective and a chance to step away from the anxiety-driven desk life. I’m itchy for long all day rides, but for now I’ll keep stealing an hour wherever I can.

Coach said to recover from SSAP by working alot. I’ve been jealously eyeing everyone with bikes riding the town loops across from my office while I work or run off to pick up the boy. But yesterday was too nice not to sneak in a ride, so I did.

So first, the non-important stuff. I told you that I hadn’t been riding my bike that much and wasn’t very fit, and I wasn’t bluffing. SSAP was a demonstration of my non-fitness. Anything that was flat or downhill was fair game, but once the trail pointed up I fell way behind. Sure is humbling to be so slow on trails that you’ve ridden so fast in years prior. I wasn’t the last open woman, but it was a fair fight in order to get 2nd to last.

But now the important stuff. This past weekend it was sunny, dry and temps in the mid-70s. K stayed with his favorite Auntie for the weekend and Nina and I made it into a singlespeed girls road trip weekend. Down at Darkhorse, friends were everywhere and it felt so good to just hang out and ride bikes and talk and laugh and all that good stuff. You couldn’t have ordered up a nicer weekend for this event.

By the end of the weekend I was completely floored by the support, friendship and encouragement that I received from the singlespeed community. From folks I knew just cause they’d attended an event I had a hand in, to friends that I’ve raced with over the past three years, to friends that I’ve known for much, much longer, I’m feeling really thankful to know these folks and know that they’re cheering me on through all these crazy changes going on in my life.

Over the past three years, I’ve had really good races at Stewart, and really bad ones. I might not have had the fitness or the legs, but it gave me more time to enjoy the roll of the trail. Smiles all around. It’s always fun in the back of the pack and this year was one of the good races for me simply because it was a day riding my bike in the sunshine with friends. Thanks to Darkhorse Cycles for the hospitality and the great scene.

One day when Keiran was a little baby and I was just back at work, juggling a new job, an infant, and all of the parts of life, I came into work completely frazzled. Thinking that I’d get some sympathy, I expressed my frustration and how I didn’t feel like I had a handle on everything. My boss, a mom of two and business owner, turned to me and told me that I had to figure it out. No excuses, just make it work.

It seemed harsh, but the advice was straight up good. I took it, and stopped dwelling on how difficult things were and focused on making it work. I did the best that I could, and felt a lot better having my shit somewhat together or at least not letting myself feel like my world was totally running amuck around me. This is another one of those times. Between solo parenting, selling the house and pressure at work, it seems like I’m always on the edge of losing myself. But that’s not an option for me, and I keep thinking back to Karen’s advice and digging a little deeper to figure this out.

Just got back from a quick trip out to Colorado, rental house shopping in Fort Collins (know of anything good? drop me a line!) As it goes, I arrived just after they got 2′ of snow. We managed a nice singlespeed ride on the road on Sunday. Warm enough for me and plenty of sunshine. Then on Monday it dumped another 7″ of snow.

I had grand plans for the rest week upon our return to the east coast, which included spending some time in PA and riding bikes and hanging out with family. But movement on the house meant more things to do in VT and K and I hustled back to take care of business. It’s not too bad around here though.

SSAP is this weekend. I’ve ridden around the block a few times, but basically something had to give to make my current situation work and that thing has been riding my bike. Not going to be pretty this weekend, but should be fun and the weather looks good and there’ll be lots of friends there.

Even with the first race of the season looming less than 3 weeks away, it’s not easy to get time to ride right now. Luckily K is a little older and a very confident and self assured kid, allowing me more flexibility than I probably deserve. Also, I will have to buy my neighbors a few beers.

But not until such time in which it warms up enough that we can hang out in the ADK chairs or by the fire pit. Despite the sunshine this weekend was mostly quite cold. Really quite cold. On the plus side, no muddy roads because they were all frozen.

Rides aren’t easy to come by, and they seem to be short. I feel out of form and it’s not a nice feeling. However, I know how it goes. The only way to get better at riding bikes is to ride bikes. So, I’ll do what I can when I can steal an hour and remind myself to be patient. You can’t go to the store and buy skills or fitness or time, you have to carve out them out of your life.

I’ve just finished reading Lean In. It exceeded my expectations, I wished it was longer. It made me frustrated and also gave me hope. I’d recommend this book.

Why don’t we decide to look at the choices we make in our lives not as sources of anxiety, but as enormous opportunities for inspiration, both to and from our children? That connection, that authentic reflection of one another, the flow between the mother and the child, each inspiring the other to lead a beautiful, full life — that’s where our focus should be. It’s a gift like none other.

That’s from this article. I found it very touching and inspiring and all that other helpfulness. Go read that as well.

Meanwhile spring is slow to lean in here in Vermont this year. It’ll be a while until the trails are dry in this particular valley, but I did hear that Pine Hill Park was good to go for Easter Sunday. After I completely dropped the ball with easter baskets and egg hunts, K spent some time with his favorite auntie and I headed down to PHP with Aaron and Jay. Time was tight and my stress level wasn’t helped when I got a phone call en route about K running a fever and feeling poorly.

Regardless, 90 minutes of singletrack in shorts and short sleeves happened. And it was good. Riding bikes is fun. Looking forward to as much as I can get my hands on.

Got home from work last night and found this little fella waiting for me:

Honestly, I’m a little impressed with myself for catching a weasel. The weasel was a little less impressed with the situation. K and I put the stinky, hissing critter in the car and took it for a little drive to a new neighborhood where it can start a new life terrrorizing some other chickens.

Took it easy yesterday, celebrating the weasel capture and also recovering from the weekend. With SSAP looming only a month away, I felt it might be time to start riding outside in preparation. I have no anticipation of riding well at this race, but I’ll try to put something together so I can at least have fun out there. So Saturday I did a big loop around the block, in the snow.

Sunday an out and back slog through the mud after snowboarding. Bonus, on Sunday I actually saw the sun for a few minutes of my ride. I’m in terrible shape. I know I always feel like this at this time of the year, but this year I think it’s worse. This is not unexpected. The good news is that getting outside and riding is still fun regardless.

or RIP chickens.

Saturday morning I found one of my buff orphington chickens dead in the coop. neck broken and a little bloody but otherwise just dead and lying there. Odd. Then Saturday afternoon I found the other buff dead outside the coop. Sunday morning the little red chicken was dead in the coop, door undisturbed. Poor Sophie, my oldest and biggest chicken, the only one that would let us pick her up, was now a very lonely chicken without the rest of her flock.

Later that day I was in the garage moving some things around when I saw a mouse run along the sill. I reached to bait my mouse trap when I saw something chasing the mouse. A kitten? A ferret? It looked like this:

An ermine. Or, in the winter, a stoat. In general, a weasel! It was frankly quite cute, but not something I want as a roomate. And, he was definitely the chicken killing culprit. We baited the hav-a-heart trap with some stinky fish, though thanks to the internet i didn’t have any confidence that it could be trapped so easily, weasely bastard. Then, once we thought the weasel was outside, K helped me to close up the garage tight. I didn’t hear him scaling the walls last night, and woke up to find Sophie dead.

There were tears this morning at the breakfast table, she was a good chicken and we’d had her almost four years. But in a way it’s for the best. She would have been despondent without her flock and now we don’t have to worry about finding a home for the chickens when we move.

Besides Winterbike, it was a busy weekend. Lots of house showings brought extra work and extra stress. I really hope this process proceeds in an orderly fashion or I might just anxiety myself into a bad place. Luckily Sunday was a nice day and after taking care of our business everyone needed a little bit of outside time.

Frozen reservoir. Almost all the shanties are off the ice already and you can tell that they’ve begun to drop the water level in preparation for the thaw. So it was nice that we got out for a walk on the ice before it was all done this winter.

Saw these nice big moose prints on the reservoir. Then at home I noticed that someone had been nibbling at the kale stumps in my garden. That someone left some poop in there as well. Another moose, or maybe the same one. I can’t claim to be an expert on the size of moose territory.

The warm weather and the steady rain has wrecked some havoc on our snow pack. Down here in the valley it’s muddy and gloomy and awful. I tried to walk the dog on the town loops on Monday because i had him at work and it was convenient. Yeah, it was basically an icy death track.

Best thing about mud season? Spring and summer are right behind. Bring it on.

Winterbike! That’s what we did on the 9th. We got up really early and tried to hustle up to the Kingdom, getting trapped behind a multitude of log trucks along the way. What’s up with so many log trucks on a Saturday morning? Anyway, the sun was shining. The snow was extra super sparkley. And a cold, cold night made some primo snow biking conditions.

K got engaged helping the MTBVT crew set up the fire and aids station so I was able to take off with a nice big pack of ladies for a super fun ride. Was great to catch up with friends and make some new friends. And the riding was super fun. While it lasted. The morning was heating up quickly and snow conditions were rapidly getting soft.

Just in time we turned up at the bonfire for cider, booze, beer and donuts. K was doing great, having the time of his life and I really enjoyed catching up with folks from all over the place. Already sunburnt and sweating from the beautiful day, we relocated down to the nordic center for more festivities and socializing. Caught the beginning of the 6x race and then decided to get out while the going was good. A full day of sunshine and some great riding was just what I needed after what seemed like an interminable week of grey.

Thanks to Ryan and MTBVT and the Kingdom Trails crew for another great event (and for keeping tabs on my kiddo so I could ride a bit.) Funny, last year there were just a few of us with fat bikes. This year the fat bikes were everywhere. Fastest growing segment of the bike industry I hear, and for good reason too.